I joined a gym. I went the lowest budget route I could find: $10 a month. Yes, they tried to sell me on the upgraded membership that gives access to tanning beds, massage chairs and hydromassage therapy units. I explained that I don't need new ways to make laying down more comfortable--the basic membership will … Continue reading Have a Nice 1984
This morning, I fixed myself decaf after my first full-throttle cup because I felt my mind and life racing fast enough already, and I held 15 mg of quality CBD tincture under my tongue while the neutered cup brewed—sublingual absorption gets the medicine to the brain quickly. I have the rare experience of being off … Continue reading How About Some Decaf?
"Are you interested in our spin?" "I don't know. I'm not sure what that is." "Oh it's great, I'll put you in it. There's a black light, loud music, it's so fun. You're all on bikes." "Oh wow. Okay. I'm actually going to pass on that one. I have PTSD and am high anxiety with … Continue reading Yoga, Malaise, Ink
Yesterday, it would have been about work and how my stove caught fire in the morning, how I threw handful after handful of flour on the flames and when it finally went out, I had this mess of burned and caked flour everywhere. I'd have told you how I couldn’t leave the kids with that … Continue reading If We Could Talk, Part 2
I would tell you I looked at two apartments today, and both left me feeling like Goldilocks: one was too big (in price and space—the ceilings were loft-height, glorious Old Chicago 12-footers. In winter, I fear the heat would never reach me or my children in our beds. We'd swelter in summer. The place felt … Continue reading If We Could Talk
I horrified someone into understanding one of the darkest stars in my mental illness sky yesterday because she wanted to "...yeah but..." her way through my answer to her question: why would anyone with everything going for them commit suicide? She came to a group of mentally ill people to ask that question—to a tiny … Continue reading What Do You Do With That?
Mes amis, it's been a hot minute. I haven't written here since the end of April, when I declared my need to leave the hive for honey—time to go collect pollen and bring it home for processing. I forgot I said that. Spring came for me. I spent Beltane in a hot tub with an … Continue reading I’ve Been To the World, and I’m Going Back Inside
I'm dreaming in color of driving dead friends like cargo through towns I don't know until I arrive home with their bodies. I don't know what to do when I get there, so I just leave the back windows open 4" or so and go back in my apartment. But once I'm inside, I'm obsessed … Continue reading Can I Extrovert Safely?
Although I've proclaimed the gospel of mind-body connection (as above, so below—my mental state and my physical body are not islands in the same stream, they're the water and the flow), I needed The Universe to teach me how it feels with a mallet, so I threw out my back a few years ago while … Continue reading Listening To My Body
From a bartender’s perspective, you’ll never beat John Prine, and although I’m a songwriter, a singer and a storyteller as well, I think the shit-bar matriarch’s point of view is the one Mr. Prine might have enjoyed the most from me, had I ever had the fortune to meet him. Trade secret: she who rules … Continue reading To John Prine, With Love From a Bartender