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Category: journal

Yoga, Malaise, Ink

"Are you interested in our spin?" "I don't know. I'm not sure what that is." "Oh it's great, I'll put you in it. There's a black light, loud music, it's so fun. You're all on bikes." "Oh wow. Okay. I'm actually going to pass on that one. I have PTSD and am high anxiety with … Continue reading Yoga, Malaise, Ink →

ATD journal Leave a comment January 15, 2021 3 Minutes

If We Could Talk, Part 2

Yesterday, it would have been about work and how my stove caught fire in the morning, how I threw handful after handful of flour on the flames and when it finally went out, I had this mess of burned and caked flour everywhere. I'd have told you how I couldn’t leave the kids with that … Continue reading If We Could Talk, Part 2 →

ATD journal Leave a comment November 18, 2020November 18, 2020 1 Minute

If We Could Talk

I would tell you I looked at two apartments today, and both left me feeling like Goldilocks: one was too big (in price and space—the ceilings were loft-height, glorious Old Chicago 12-footers. In winter, I fear the heat would never reach me or my children in our beds. We'd swelter in summer. The place felt … Continue reading If We Could Talk →

ATD journal Leave a comment November 15, 2020November 16, 2020 1 Minute

I’ve Been To the World, and I’m Going Back Inside

Mes amis, it's been a hot minute. I haven't written here since the end of April, when I declared my need to leave the hive for honey—time to go collect pollen and bring it home for processing. I forgot I said that. Spring came for me. I spent Beltane in a hot tub with an … Continue reading I’ve Been To the World, and I’m Going Back Inside →

ATD COVID Diary, journal Leave a comment July 28, 2020 2 Minutes

Listening To My Body

Although I've proclaimed the gospel of mind-body connection (as above, so below—my mental state and my physical body are not islands in the same stream, they're the water and the flow), I needed The Universe to teach me how it feels with a mallet, so I threw out my back a few years ago while … Continue reading Listening To My Body →

ATD journal 2 Comments April 16, 2020April 16, 2020 4 Minutes

Don’t Give Me More Than I Can Hold

Tonight I'm reminded that in the face of unprecedented world events, regular life carries on. People are going to break their legs and give birth. We're still going to fall in love and die from all the same circumstances that assailed us before there was a COVID-19 assassin on the global prowl. I wish these … Continue reading Don’t Give Me More Than I Can Hold →

ATD COVID Diary, journal Leave a comment March 17, 2020March 19, 2020 2 Minutes

We Could Be Heroes

I almost started this post with "Good morning," but I caught myself—it's one in the afternoon right now. We're only on day two or so of the officially requested shutdown and reordering of our lives—social distancing—and my concept of time and normalcy blurred a little bit on me. I think that's all of us right … Continue reading We Could Be Heroes →

ATD COVID Diary, journal, mental illness Leave a comment March 15, 2020March 17, 2020 3 Minutes

02.22.2020

My fairy garden made it through most of winter standing, but I found it today in ruins. If I'd sat outside a few days ago, the ruined garden town might have felt like a heavy-handed metaphor. Today, it's just a thing. The destruction is likely the handiwork of my six-year-old and the neighbor boy, which … Continue reading 02.22.2020 →

ATD journal Leave a comment February 22, 2020 1 Minute

On a Plain

Speaking in metaphor only, I got my ass kicked three days ago and am still slow-motion falling toward the floor. And I can't do that right now. I have deadlines I worked for and open doors and windows all around me. My kids are mostly teens, all brilliant and strong and sensitive and growing, and … Continue reading On a Plain →

ATD journal, mental illness Leave a comment February 20, 2020February 20, 2020 2 Minutes

Lemon Balm in Winter

Lemon balm doesn't grow well indoors. I didn't know that until I moved one into my dining room. She's an unplanned houseplant, a relic from last year's garden I brought inside (because at the end of the growing season, I found her flourishing in the center of the leafy geodome my un-staked tomato plants incidentally … Continue reading Lemon Balm in Winter →

ATD journal, mental illness Leave a comment February 11, 2020February 12, 2020 2 Minutes

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