Just drink the coffee.
I found this meme on Instagram today that said something like: Mental wellness is not Fight Club. We can talk about it. (I don't remember the precise words, and I couldn't find it again because I'm still pretty lost on that platform. Signed, I'm 43) It made me think of this album of selfies I … Continue reading Mission 1.0
Grace is waking up as late as your dizzy, dizzy head needs to and knowing that a stream of angels will pass through today, that your bar manager is getting your day covered for tomorrow so you can move out of your apartment on time. It's relocating your three customers on yesterday's shift (favorites all--trusted--five … Continue reading 12/6/18
Drive your children 400 miles away because they want to go back to their fathers. You understand and want it for them, too. Flames have licked through the plaster walls you've all been living between, and it's time to go. So you drive down Saturday morning. Leave late to avoid the rain, and because none … Continue reading This Is a Controlled Burn
I can't slow it down. What if I just start typing it all? The whole river that's coming through my head. Word after word after word—there's no way to do it. The moment I start making sentences, organization begins. All those words, all those feelings I've learned to associate with sound conventions designed to transmit … Continue reading Journal 11/20/18
Meds swallowed and half a cup of coffee down by 9:38 in the morning. Plans to visit a Friend at 11 moved to 11:30 so I can take a shower, scrub my face, and fix my hair before I leave the house (yesterday's attempt was bizarre, and I know it). Right now I'm barefoot with … Continue reading It Always Gets Better
Boyfriend says it's important to get up and shower every day. He says, Leave the house for something. You have to or you'll go crazy. I tell him, No major life decisions when you're manic, and he agrees. We talk for nearly an hour, his manic chatter recognized and named, my seizure-like anxiety (it's sudden and … Continue reading Crazy Love
Coffee or Suicide 